I'm gonna take that as a yes.
How annoying! I think the worst part right now is that feeling of knowing what you need to do to get out of it, but feeling too down/tired/lazy to do it.
Do you know what I had for breakfast today? 2 brownies and a cookie leftover from last night's party. I did get laundry done (and folded and put away, thank you!), but the dishes remain. I don't want to talk about what my floors look like.
The thing is, I know that if would just get off my butt in the morning and make a green smoothie or oatmeal or something that my whole day would go better. I know it would. Not that I would be cured or anything, but it would help. If I would just do 15 minutes of yoga. And the baby is no longer an excuse. I have the time I just don't take it. Instead I sit in my home and stew over what a terrible mother I am and how many other people are thinking that I'm a terrible mother.
Why is that?
Is it a self discipline thing? Is it because every day feels the same and what's the point? Do I not love myself?
I can't figure it out.
Because all I really want to do right now is shut this computer and play sudoku. Ultimately I think I just don't want to care. Life is much easier and happier when we do the things we know we should. And yet.... and yet it's somehow just easier to let things fall apart a little each day, isn't it?