I'm tired of being entertained. I think because this past year was so difficult for me I've turned to television and the internets more than I care to admit. Sometimes I think you just have to numb yourself to make it through the end of the day. Well, it worked and I have been good and numb. But now it's time to come back to life and quit wasting it away.
(Speaking of back to life)
Totally off topic side note: you know how Igloo got really into zombies 10 years ago, but now they're mainstream? Everyone is talking about the zombie apocalypse these days. So we watched a zombie movie last night because all our friends recommended it. Neither of us liked it and we realized that its like when Fran Drescher said, "fuh shizzle" and "shizzle" stopped being cool.
That has happened to zombies. They're officially overplayed.
That and we're snobs.
So I've been pondering on all the esoteric questions that have plagued man for centuries. The scientist part of my brain wants to know and understand the mind of God, as if that were somehow attainable at this point in my life. And I find myself perplexed and angry that my puny little mortal mind doesn't understand all His ways. Why DO all these young mothers keep dying? Why do other people's choices have to hurt me so much? How exactly does the atonement work for ______ particular situation? And why the heck am I being trusted to teach a bunch of little children the gospel of Jesus Christ when my own understanding is so limited??
So I went into the woods to ask God about these things and would like to share what He told me.
He said to stop spending do much time worrying about how the tree grows. Trust that God knows how it grows and spend more time enjoying the beauty of the leaves and the bark and the shade. God has time to worry about all these things, but I don't.
Maybe you're thinking, "well, duh!" because you're more enlightened than I. Congratulations! Hard advice for this curious and prideful mind, but I felt like it was deeply important so I wanted to share it with someone else who needed to hear it. You know who you are. (I wish I did...)
With this I'm not trying to say we shouldn't thirst for more knowledge and understanding. But to realize that sometimes we learn more when we stop asking and just observe and be.
So this week I'm hoping my venture into the woods will consist of less pondering and staring with furrowed brow and include more naps and hikes and marshmallows and deep inhalations of fresh mountain air.